Sunday, December 17, 2017

Trials and Challenges: What's the purpose?

Welcome to the dance of Life. Expect the unexpected. There may be rough times.....

Are you in a tough spot? Are you going through a rough time? Do you just wish it would already be over with? I can relate. We've all been there however, be careful if you're trying to 'push' your way though it, because the lesson intended for you to learn could be overlooked and unfortunately, brought back to you again... that, my friend, is no fun.

I can relate to too many times in my Type A, high strung life, I've 'missed the boat', only to have another come up on the horizon carrying the same cargo I thought I just ditched, no good. It seems there have been times I've kept an entire harbor busy.... reloading it's goods to deliver to me again and again, until I finally dealt with them. 

What does dealing with them entail? It entails facing the issue squarely, taking the necessary responsibility to 'take care' of it, which leads to the final step... taking calculated intelligent action, step by step, until it is resolved as best as possible, and then move forward having learned important lessons along the way of which to store securely in your Book of Life Lessons, never to be repeated. 

What kind of lessons? We generally encounter lessons that will help us grow from the inside out, a few to consider are:
- patience
- understanding
- develop organizational skills
- communication skills
- financial savvy
- teach us to think outside of the box
- that you are stronger than you know
- smarter than you thought
- that you can handle 'big' problems afterall

The list goes on and on....

The rough times, tough times and challenging moments of our lives are teaching moments. Heed the call. Get out your map. Make one if you don't have one. Chart your course. Gear up... mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Pack well for your journey, as you have no idea how long it will last. Look for a good crew to help keep you stay on course. Set out. Face your fears. Conquer. Rejoice. Return with honor.


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Sunday, December 10, 2017


Todays blog is written with the best intentions, to help educate, motivate, and hopefully alleviate any false perceptions of how a persons weight, can, and many times DOES affect our relationships.

I receive phone calls, e-mails, and texts on a regular basis from loving, caring individuals deeply concerned for the health and well-being of their loved one(s). Many times, when a person is overweight, they feel trapped in a place they'd truly rather not be. I say this as a result of speaking with my clients who have been very outspoken, and brave about confronting their weight. Some have teetered on suicide, others live quietly feeling less than human, and still, there are others who accept themselves for who they are, are happy, and stay active. 

My own opinion is, I do not believe anyone is overweight because they want to be. There are very few cases where genetics play the key factor. Injuries can change a person forever depending on the injury itself. I'm amazed and inspired by individuals who overcome such tremendous odds. 'Soul Surfer', Bethany Hamilton, is an example of faith, strength, and determination. There are many others. 

There are other health conditions that can affect weight gain and weight loss, like hypothyroid, for instance, or a hysterectomy, or cancer. Any health issue that throws the body into hormonal distress can, and many times will throw the body into a confused weight storing machine. For cancer patients who survive, chemotherapy and radiation can forever change the individuals 'make-up', an destroy a once functioning system, making exercise much more challenging, and results much harder to come by. I hold cancer survivors in high admiration. They have been through an awful lot. Many pick up the once shattered pieces and begin living their lives all over again. My dear sister is one of them. I love her with all my heart. One can never be judged. 

In most situations, where there are no health issues, weight gain is a condition that comes on ever so gradually. Where there are eating disorders, and emotional eating, the relationship with food for many becomes a love/hate relationship. If not reckoned with, it can become a vicious cycle where many find themselves too embarrassed to turn for help. 

I encourage you to take a leap of faith. To hold your heads up high. Look at yourself in the mirror and fall in love with the person you are looking at. You are an incredible person. Look at all the other areas of your life you are successful. You can be successful at whatever you put your mind to. It is never too late to begin. You are not too old, too tired, too far gone, etc., you have what it takes to get the job done. Your loved ones are there to support you. They do not want you to lose weight for the 'looks' of it. 

They deeply care and love you more than you'll ever know. They want you around for a long time. They want you to be strong. They want you to be healthy. They want you to have energy. They want you to be happy. They want to take you places, and make memories. They want you to run around with them, go on trips, swim, climb, and have an awesome retirement together. Perhaps you are already doing these things. Great!  

Begin with the knowledge you have. Begin with what you can do TODAY. Visit your physician and get a 'go ahead' for activity. Get any tests performed that he or she feels necessary. Get yourself a nice journal. Begin entering your thoughts, feelings, pictures, and future plans of what you desire in your life. Believe that you can indeed achieve. Learn whatever is necessary to keep progressing. Please, do not be embarrassed or afraid to ask for help. Others want to be of service to you, but do not want you to feel pressured. It must be your choice. 


I have studied eating disorders for years. More people suffer from an eating disorder than recognized. Many times athletes, including figure, bodybuilding, and other sports where physique is critiqued and body fat matters, eating disorders can become a silent killer. Ballerina's have had the most exposure in the past for such conditions. I mention this because I want you to be aware that eating disorders are everywhere, not just in the overweight population.

From my observations, and speaking with both clients and their families, the number one complaint I hear on both sides is it creates an area of .... contention. Contention of weight related conversations. Contention when a spouse speaks or looks at another of the opposite sex. Contention about meals that are prepared and/or food being bought and brought into the home. Contention about misunderstandings of the situation, and contention about what each side desires, and finding a happy medium. Yes, weight can and indeed many times does... cause conflict within relationships that many would rather not deal with. 

Our body weight is a very personal thing. Words spoken can be taken personally. Sometimes they can be outright painful. When it comes to our lives, health, relationships, and so forth, I believe it is crucial in dealing with these matters straight on, one step at a time. Get counseling where counseling is necessary. Get a trainer when a trainer is necessary. Get a life coach if you feel the need. This goes for both 'sides', until one blessed day, there are no more 'sides' it's just us being us.

I'll never forget when I was living in my 'bubble', I was told I couldn't run, etc., because I would inevitably end up in the emergency room, unable to breathe. At this point in my life, I came home from school turned on the television and ate, and ate, and ate some more. I ate away my boredom, my frustrations, my loneliness. Then, one day, I noticed a stack of pictures that had just come back from summer vacation. I was looking at one upside-down and couldn't make out who I was looking at, as they did not look familiar to me. I was shocked when I spun the picture around and saw it was a heavy ME! I did not like what I saw, and it caused me to question what I had been told by doctors. I decided to take matters in my own hands. No, it was not fun. Yes, it was painful. No, I did not get results overnight. Yes, I was making slow but sure progress. No, I didn't give up. Yes, there were days I felt like it.   


It's the little day by day, tedious, sometimes rather monotonous, things that bring about progress , and eventually...success! Do not be fooled, THERE IS NO GRAND MOMENT. The moment is NOW. 

I hope this has been helpful. 

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Sunday, December 3, 2017


Want to avoid the frustration of gaining 5-7 lbs. this year during the holidays? Message me today and let's get you started on a solid Meal Plan that will have you so satisfied you won't be dipping into the candy dish, you'll handle dinner parties and get togethers with confidence, and you'll actually look forward to stepping onto the scale each week!! Message me. Go to my site and check it out:, or e-mail me at 💖😋
Live a Life of No Regrets....

Limits vs. Boundaries: What you need to know.

Limits and boundaries, they seem one in the same... at least according to Webster. I think it's worth our time to consider the limits and boundaries we place on ourselves, in our lives, and at times..... even on those around us.

First off, I'd like to think there is a difference between limits and boundaries. For instance, a limit is something you will not budge on, whereas a boundary is something that can be moved, readjusted, reconsidered, or changed. 

Many times we place limits on ourselves without even consciously realizing it. "I can't do this because....", I can't do that because.....", and then it somehow gets cemented in our thought process that it simply can't be done. Of course this sounds ridiculous, but it happens to people every day, and they live their lives based on these false perceptions, wondering why they're not reaching their goals, and why they're not happy. 

Okay, so some limits are set for us, such as speed limits, rules and regulations of the government, etc. What about personal limits though? What have you been taught about your limits? Do you feel you've been raised according to limits? Do you feel limits can and/or should be broken? Do you feel a penalty or a reward of surpassing a limit is warranted, and why? 

I believe it all comes down to what we've been taught. Have you ever challenged your limits? Have you ever been placed in a position where you KNEW you reached your limit, only to discover you had to handle more? How did you feel about it? Did it change your perspective on your limits? I certainly hope so. I meet with clients on a regular basis who tell me their limits, I see otherwise and insist they do things my way. "But I've never lifted that much before.....". They struggle, they swear, some cry, some refuse to do what I've asked. I then refuse to train them. I firmly remind them they came to me to help them, and ask again what they are WILLING to do. 


When an individual limits themselves in regards to reaching their goals, they are simply choosing to negotiate their willingness to do what it takes to get there. Excuses are lame. Yes, there are some legitimate reasons why some things can't be accomplished, but they are an exception. The majority of the time, people are simply coming up with excuses, and reasoning why they are not doing what they set out to do.  

Let's place limits where limits belong, shall we? Such as: Acceptable and unacceptable behavior, rules and regulations to keep our country running smoothly, keep freedom alive, and protecting our rights, our families, and our beliefs.

Let's set boundaries for the rest. Boundaries can fluctuate. Let's set goals, and keep at them amidst the obstacles that come our way. You see, when a person sets a goal in terms of limits, and they run into a snag, it's an excuse to bail. When you set boundaries, you simply modify your plan, and keep moving forward.  Boundaries allow for flexibility, flexibility of both mind, body, and the manner in which a course is traveled. Say you set a time limit on reaching your goal. This is good as we need to have some type of accountability to measure our progress with in terms of time, however, if illness has struck, injury, a loss of job, etc., you need not bail when the date arrives and you haven't reached your goal(s), you simply modify the plan and continue forth. 


One thing about boundaries you need to be aware of:


Is this what you want? Someone else determining when you'll wake? What you'll eat? Where you'll work? I think not. There are some things in life that can only be determined by YOU. YOU are your own steward. Yes, we can ask for others opinion, but when it comes down to it, only YOU can decide what is best for YOU. Take a passive personality, for instance. A passive person is one who has not yet learned to set their own boundaries. You've seen it a million times, people being asked to do this or that, and whether they want to or not, need to or not, have time for it or not, they comply. No boundaries. 

My word of advice:
Know what you want in life before your feet hit the floor in the morning. Set your boundaries, yet be flexible. Then walk to the nearest mirror and reconfirm your goals, boundaries, and limits with the person you're looking at, as they are most likely the one to be your biggest challenge. Yes, people set their goals, and silently go about destroying their own plan by making contradictive choices throughout the day. 

Here's my challenge to you: Set your goals, and live up to them for just one day. Then do it the next, and the next, and the next. Yes, it's difficult if you're leaving your comfort zone, but this is how great things come to pass.

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